This morning I was taking the boys to the bus and Rosalee to daycare. We were listening to our normal christian music and this message was placed on my heart, and the first thing I had to do this morning was share it.
I knew a person who was dealing with depression on a massive level. They had an issue with alcoholism on a large scale. They kept telling me "I am a f*c% up, you don't understand". To which I would tell them, we are human. We are imperfect. It is through Christ's Mercy and Grace that we are made whole and find Salvation. They would then say no one wants me, I am no good for anyone. My response was, "Jesus loved you so much that he died for you. He knew that you were human and you would not be able to hold up your end, so he sacrificed himself. He knew you were imperfect, but all he asks is that you love him, accept him, and follow his word. You will never be able to love anyone else until you learn to love yourself. You cannot love yourself the way you need to until you first build your relationship with him and understand his mercy and grace for you, so that you can forgive yourself as well as show that same understanding to others. "
You see, it is not about religion. I do not believe in "religion" I believe in a relationship. I go to a Pentecostal Church when I go. I tell people "I am not a good Pentecostal", haha. I was raised Baptist, but I believe a lot of the Pentecostal beliefs and for me that is the church for me. My little church in Pinehurst with Brother Marcantel and Brother Smith is top notch, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. But anyways, that being said, I believe that God and Jesus (Yeshua) are the same. That relationship with him is sooo important. Because we are imperfect. We are humans, we are going to fail. But you see, it is not about us but about him. Our failures hurt, but when we have that relationship with him and draw near to him, and we rise back up we are bringing so much glory to him through our testimonies.
It is through him that we find strength, it is through him that we can soar on wings like eagles.
There is a Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with gold and silver called Kintsukuroi or Kintsugi. The Japanese like to consider it a way of not only repairing the item but also transforming it into something new which is pristine and has a new potential. More so, this piece becomes more valuable then it was before. From its "scars".
God is the potter, he has formed us from the dirt of the earth and molded us into his image. But in life we get broken. Things happen out of our control, people hurt us, sickness happens, we make bad decisions that cause us pain, and next thing we know, we are shattered into little pieces on the ground. But when we accept him into our lives and create that relationship with him, give him our yolk to carry versus trying to do everything on our own, he takes his gold (the holy spirit) and uses it piece us back together. We may have the "scars" that are left, but they have made us so much more valuable and strengthened us. They show the world, how great and caring our "potter" is , that he made us whole again and we are made more beautiful because we bare testimony of what we have survived.
I have friends from all walks of life. I treat the janitor the same as I treat a CEO. I have friends who have been in prison, I have friends who are ex drug cartel, ex mafia, and I have friends who own multi-million dollar businesses. Several of the ones that I know with a past who later found God or got out of the situation but still struggle with identity, voiced that they hated their tattoos, because they represented their past. They were a reminder every day of the things they had done and they wanted them gone. But those tattoos are beautiful. They are a testimony of how great the living God is that he seen them through all of that and had them come out on top. That he brought them from the darkest of the dark and they are still here today.
Don't be ashamed of your past. Don't let it prevent you from building that relationship with God and other people. Do not let it drag you down and tell you that you are not good enough. Break those chains and find forgiveness of yourself. You have to forgive yourself and understand that you are human and you will never be perfect. But through God's mercy and love we find saving grace. You are a beautiful and wonderful human being and so loved that he was willing to put on an earthly body and sacrifice himself for you.
The bible talks about how Christians should be meek.... that did not mean timid or shy. The original context was referring to being strong and courageous. Wild stallions were captured in the mountains and brought down to be broken and trained for a variety of uses. It was imperative that the horses retain their spirit, courage, and power. But without discipline and total obedience, those traits were useless. In fact, the best horses were reserved for warfare where their courage to race into battle was essential. A warhorse that failed to respond immediately to command was of little value and actually endangered its rider. These warhorses exemplified great power under control. Taken from a point of complete wildness or rebellion, these animals were transformed into strong but obedient tools. They exemplified true meekness and had been transformed from unbridled willfulness to courage and submission in situations of extreme danger. Had these warhorses not came from harsh environments, they would have never been prepared for war. Look at the people of the Bible that God chose to lead his people. They were not perfect by and means, they were sinners. Those that have gone through hell and back and know the love of God, are more prepared for the spiritual battle that we face because they know what it's like to not have God in their life. They know how bad things can get. The ones that have never been weathered are not as likely to be able to stand strong when it is time for battle.
Remember this. You are not perfect, none of us are. We all have our own internal battles that we tell no one, and we are all imperfect. Your past does not stop you, it does not hinder you. Let it be your testimony of everything that you have defeated or are going to defeat (if you are still battling) , and know that is through our relationship that we are made whole. It is through our relationship with Jesus that he takes our broken pieces and puts them back together making us more beautiful and stronger than before. He does not call to battle those that have never weathered the storm or battles. He calls to battle those who have been weathered and experienced in battles to call to others and let them know his glory through you. You are so loved, you are beautiful, and you are important.
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